Pink and Red Playground Party

On Saturday, February 17, the day of Eleanor’s first birthday, Amelia declared that she wanted to have a “Pink and Red Playground Party” to celebrate her 4^th birthday.  This pronouncement rang true for the next four months as she counted down the months, then weeks, then days leading up to June, with the excited perseverance that only a child anticipating her birthday possesses. 

At first, I waited to see if her requested party theme would morph into something different – maybe she’d go character related, Cars or the Incredibles or Toy Story or Doc McStuffins, or maybe she’d go with unicorns or rainbows, as the little girls’ clothing section of almost every store currently seems to proclaim as the decoration of choice, or maybe she’d suddenly change her favorite color of the past year from red to green or purple or yellow.  I should have known.  Once Amelia gets something in her head, it stays.  Be forewarned; never tell my daughter anything unless you are absolutely and unequivocally prepared to follow through.  She never forgets.

Once I was positive that the “Pink and Red Playground Party” request was staying put, I encouraged it.  It seemed straightforward, an easy party to pull off and my little family of (current) extroverts loves any excuse to have a party.  Amelia and I shopped for pink and red plates, deemed pink and red sunglasses the perfect party favor and brainstormed pink and red foods to serve, all while accommodating my request that it be a simple party.

We scheduled the party to fall on the Saturday before Amelia’s actual birthday at our church’s playground.  As the day approached, we began watching the weather.  Amelia told everyone who would listen that she was having a “Pink and Red Playground Party,” but if it rained, she would have a “Pink and Red House Party.”  Even though she had a plan, the idea of having that many three and four year olds, along with all of our other guests, in our house felt daunting to me.  So, I hoped and continued to wear out my weather app, utilizing the hourly forecast and the radar as the party got closer.

The day of the party arrived.  Amelia’s Nana and Granddaddy, as well as her Uncle Kyle and Aunt Lisa, chipped in on the day of the party to set up, get Eleanor to the party, and clean up.  Nana filled bags with popcorns so it would look pink. We decided on watermelon, strawberries and grapes to be our red food and ordered pink cupcakes.  We borrowed cornhole and a tailgating tent from Granddaddy.

Adam and I continued to obsessively check the weather.  That entire morning, the radar looked ominous, but as the hours passed, the written forecast was more optimistic.  We knew that Amelia would feel celebrated whatever we chose to do, but we ultimately decided it would be best to push through with the playground plan.  I found myself wondering if people would still attend; if the threatening clouds would frighten them away. 

When 3:00 rolled around, we were there.  We set up food, put out a few chairs, took Amelia’s picture with a “Happy Birthday, Amelia” banner and took advantage of the fact that we could put the pink cupcakes inside the church, both to save them from possible rain and to keep the icing from melting in the already formidable Durham heat.  Amelia ran from place to place, excitedly trying to help and asking when her friends were coming. 

Right on time, people started coming.  She had family, friends from school, friends from church, and even a couple of her parents’ coworkers and their families.  I was humbled by the turnout for my girl.  We made it for thirty solid minutes before the rain started.  We were grateful for the cover provided by the trees, but soon it was obvious that putting the cupcakes inside had been the right idea.

We took cover in the fellowship hall with our cupcakes. We took advantage of the time, taking group pictures of the kids in attendance.  Amelia beamed as her friends sang “happy birthday” and she talked for days about how she got the first cupcake and it had a candle in it.  Amelia licked every bit of icing off of her cupcake; I’m not entirely sure if she tried the actual cake. 

As we all dripped dry, several kind and well-intentioned partygoers carried in food and napkins, rescuing several things from the continued showers outside.   Meanwhile, Amelia and her friends played and ran around.  Before anyone could lose interest, the rain stopped.  Slowly, people trickled back outside, just in time for on and off showers to continue. 

Astoundingly, the rain deterred no one.  People hesitated, people mentioned it, but unanimously, they decided to stay, to celebrate, to laugh, to talk, to let their children play in the mud and the “creek.” 

I know that Amelia is only four years old and I, both consciously and unconsciously, am contributing to who she will grow up to be, in so many ways.  I hesitate to name or list things that I perceive her to be, since she may well change or feel that I projected it onto her.  However, now that I’ve acknowledged that risk, I’m going to face it to share with you what I learned at Amelia’s “Pink and Red Playground Party.”

I learned, or was reminded, that right now, at four years old, Amelia absolutely loves people.  She loves people in a kind and inclusive way that I hope to cultivate.  From the moment the first guest arrived, Amelia greeted each person with genuine enthusiasm.  She independently thanked guests for coming and needed no prompting to invite children to join in whatever she was playing, so much so that several other adults mentioned it to me.  I cannot think of a better or truer compliment for my Amelia.

I was once told that Amelia has a “light” and while that is true of everyone in their own way, right now, Amelia’s shines brightly.  One of Amelia’s party guests was a member of her Friday morning breakfast club.  Adam, Amelia and Eleanor go out to breakfast on their way to work and school at the same restaurant every Friday.  It just so happens that a group of senior adults do the same thing.  My family has been welcomed into that group so fully that one member took the initiative to come to Amelia’s party.  She had invited the group en masse the Friday before and while only one person could attend, they came bearing a card signed by everyone.  Amelia has started actual, real friendships with many different groups in the short time she’s been here in Durham, in spite of so many changes. 

I learned that Amelia wants to help.  She wanted to pick out things for the party, help with the invitations, make sure as many people as possible were included, set up for the party, make sure every single child got pink or red sunglasses to take home, clean up afterwards and she was very interested in donating books.  We told her friends to forego birthday gifts, but that if they wanted to bring something, they could bring a book to donate.  Amelia was unsure at first, but when it came down to donating the books, she was thrilled.  We discussed how not everyone has books and she was excited to share what she could.  As we left the donation center, she asked if there were other things we could share.  Yes, Amelia, there are so many other things we can share, so many things we can do to help. 

The party reminded me that Amelia wants to wear a particular outfit and make sure it matches, but will not hesitate to play in the mud or run or climb in it.  She will sit down anywhere, at any time, to look at a book, no matter what is going on around her.  Amelia will eat icing all. Day. Long.  She fiercely loves her sister and while they are entering a phase that involves more picking at each other, she wants Eleanor by her side.

Most of all, at this long anticipated, rain-soaked, perfect for Amelia, “Pink and Red Playground Party” I learned that my Amelia truly is growing up.  Four sounds (and looks and acts) so much older than three.  Kids learn so much while they’re four and by this time next year, I have no doubt that she will be more than ready to take on kindergarten and quite possibly, the world.  Amelia still wants to be hugged and cuddled, but I can feel her starting to assert even more of her independence.  She still wants to hold my hand and skip, but also wants to insist that she can walk by herself in a parking lot.  Amelia tells her own stories now, but will still listen for as long as I would read.  More often already, she chooses to follow a friend to play rather than stay with me.  I could not be prouder of the gracious, friendly, kind, brave, resilient little girl she has somehow already become. 

So, that’s why we celebrate.  That’s why we threw a party.  What’s not to celebrate?  Another year survived as parents, sure, but not just survived.  We’ve had an entire year to see her grow, to see her learn, to see her become.

As always, I am grateful to those of you who helped us to pull it off.  We couldn’t have done it without you.  I am grateful to each of you who celebrated with us.  I am grateful to you for being there, for braving the weather, for being a part of her life and most of all, for loving our Amelia.