"Where there is Goodness, there is Magic"

I am well aware that there are many conflicting opinions out there about fairy tales, especially those infamous princess stories, and their effects on children, especially girls.  I have struggled with the takeaways in these stories, at times, and I can completely understand why more and more people are hesitant to perpetuate these stories. 

As we all are, I am many things.  I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin, niece, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, friend, Speech-Language Pathologist, and the list could go on and on.  One of the other things I would claim to be is a feminist.  If you’re uncomfortable with that word, do a little research.  Feminism is simply the belief that everyone, men and women, should have equal rights.

I want my daughter to grow up to be whoever she wants to be and to have a million wonderful characteristics – strong, brave, and independent included.  I want no door to be closed to her.  I want her to know she can be and do anything.  I want her to have unlimited options in her life.  I also want her to be well rounded and be multi-dimensional.  Within this context, I want her to know that she can choose what she likes – this includes things that are perceived as “for girls” and things that are perceived as “for boys.”  This also includes a combination of the two.   My daughter has a mother who has a wide variety of interests and tries her best not to limit herself to the societal perceptions of those interests.

Anyway, back to fairy tales.  My mom and I went to see “Cinderella” recently.  Honestly, I loved it.  It was fun and pretty and I left with a happy ending kind of feeling.  That being said, it was not a perfect movie or a perfect story.  There are things that I would balk at if it were real life.  There are things that warrant red flags when looked at from the perspective of raising a strong woman.  On the other hand, what I want to focus on from here out, are the good things that I took away; the things that I would want to highlight for Amelia if she had been old enough to go with us to see the movie.  By the way, I would have taken her if she were old enough. 

So, without further ado, here are six valuable things that I took away from this version of Cinderella…

1.     Parents

Both Cinderella and the Prince have loving and supportive parents who have healthy relationships with their children and want the best for them.  I liked the fact that these relationships were shown in this version of the story.  While the stepmother’s relationship with Cinderella is obviously not good, it did seem a little more complex than in many versions.

2.     Just because it’s the way things are done, doesn’t mean it’s the way things should be done.

Cinderella has her own opinions.  She values life, of all kinds.  She believes her mother when she says that anyone could understand animals if they took the time to do so.  Cinderella is bullied, but over the course of the movie, she does stand up for herself.  She voices her opinions and allows these opinions to direct her actions.

3.     Cinderella saw the world not as it was, but as it could be.

To me, this is a wonderful compliment for anyone.  To see the potential in everything around you is an amazing and inspiring ability.  This is something that I strive for myself and to instill in Amelia.  Looking for the good in everything paints the world in a light that I want to see.  When we have high expectations for people and situations, more often than not, they live up to them.

4.     It was not exactly love at first sight, but it was love nonetheless.

This story is Cinderella, so of course, it turns into a love story. Cinderella found her person, her family. I want Amelia to believe that there is love out there for her.  If she wants it, I want her to be willing to search for that person and to expect true love.  Regardless, I want her to know that she is loved and that she is surrounded by that love in whatever she chooses for her life.

5.     Cinderella forgave her stepmother.

Forgiveness is incredibly hard and while this story doesn’t delve into Cinderella’s thoughts on the forgiveness, it was still included in the story.  Cinderella remained true to her values and kindness, even in the face of her stepmother’s bullying.  That one line – I forgive you – provided closure for that part of Cinderella’s story.  Not only was her life as a servant over, she was moving on, never to dwell on the injustices she suffered.

6.     Have courage and be kind.

Cinderella’s mother gave her this motto and in so doing, helped her daughter to grow up to be a strong and loving woman.  What a beautiful world we would live in, if we could all be a little more courageous and treat each other with a little more kindness.  The combination of these two characteristics is a powerful one.  It takes courage to be kind in the face of unkindness.  I wish both of these things for my daughter and for myself. 

“Where there is kindness, there is goodness.  And where there is goodness, there is magic.”

            -Ella’s Mother, Cinderella

In the end, Cinderella is a story; a story like the millions of others out there.  A fairy tale, yes, but just a story.  Like every story that I’ve encountered, there are things I like about this one (and even love), there are things that I barely noticed, and there are things I disliked (in this particular case, one of those is the impossibly tiny waistline of Lily James).  To me, there’s no reason to hold out for the stories that are perfect.  They won’t come.  So, I think that part of enjoying stories is to enjoy the parts you like, be aware of the parts you don’t, and when necessary, discuss or confront the parts that say (or seem to say) something you don’t agree with.  As a parent, I feel that that’s my job for Amelia and any subsequent children. I will show her the parts of stories that I don’t like and explain why.  In so doing, I hope that I will be able to teach her to do the same for herself.