Thursday, March 5, 2015

Nine Things in Nine Months

Disclaimer: I have been a mom for nine months.  I do not know that much about being a mother, nor do I claim to.  However, I have learned a little now…don’t worry too much about Amelia, I’m a quick learner.

            I’ve almost been a mom for as long as I was pregnant.  It’s hard to believe, both because it seems like a short time and it seems as though Amelia has always been a part of our lives.  Let me just say, she’s awesome and I’m confident that you’ll read my bragging about her in another post.  However, today, I’m going to show-off all of my newfound “knowledge.”  I’m also going to preface this list with the fact that I had little to no baby experience before June of 2014, when Amelia was born.  I adore kids and I get along well with them, but babies and I just haven’t had a lot of time together.  So, this mom thing is, was, and will continue to be, as it is for every first time mom, a learning experience.
            I thought that since I have this wealth of knowledge from the last nine months, I would share.  I call it knowledge, knowing that my knowledge is limited and probably silly to those of you who have more of it than I do.  Bear with me, once again.  I also know that my daughter is an easy baby…so I know that all of this is shaped by that particular part of my experience.  I’m going to speak in complete sweeping generalities, so you can enjoy that, in your superior knowledge that I have one baby and everything will probably change if a baby #2 comes along.
            Anyway, on to today’s main event…

9. Babies are gross.  You expect the diapers, but man, nothing can prepare you for all of it – spit up, snot, spit, and the fact that they don’t know not to roll in things or touch things or even taste things.  They also have no control over this grossness and when it makes its appearance.  Yuck.  Haha, it can be just as endearing as it is gross, but gross nonetheless.  Just prepare your heart.

8. Something that worked amazingly well last week, or yesterday, or even an hour ago, may fail miserably.  This includes techniques for feeding, changing, playing and especially for going to sleep.  So, it’s a constant process of trail and error.  Somehow, this tidbit of knowledge doesn’t actually contradict #7.

7. Babies love routine.  They like to know what to expect and are more comfortable when they can predict what’s next.  Amelia has responded especially well to a bedtime routine, which is unbelievably awesome.

6. If you let them, babies can be all consuming.  It’s easy to get caught up in when she’ll eat next, what she’ll eat, what she’ll wear, how to entertain her, and it goes on and on.  Honestly, she’s fine.  I’ve worked hard to think about other things, too, and I’m glad I have been able to do that.

5. Babies don’t have a long memory…yet.  All parents mess up.   Granted, this happens to some more than others, but intentions here are key.  Babies understand love and they understand attempts to take care of them.  They won’t remember that you put the diaper on backwards repeatedly, or accidentally let the dog lick them, or that you put them in the wrong outfit or whatever other million small mistakes you make.

4.  Babies know who you are.  I firmly believe that Amelia knew exactly who I was the moment she saw me and I firmly believe that she has continued to do so for her entire life.  I think that’s just part of it.  She’s knows I’m Mommy and that is a humbling and extremely powerful thing.  She knows who takes care of her and who loves her.  I don’t mean to claim that it’s a biological connection so much as an emotional one.  I think it’s true in every family, no matter the shape, makeup or size.

3. Babies change constantly.  It’s unreal.  I am constantly amazed at the new things she knows and does every single day.  Sometimes, I get home from work and I feel like she’s almost a completely different baby.  It’s exciting and a little melancholy all at once.  Moments and stages and skills fly by, as quickly as the stickers on her little memory calendar are used.

2. Parents fall in love with their babies.  It’s a process.  I did love Amelia from the moment we knew about her and that love was strengthened as soon as she was born.  However, it was and it wasn’t love at first sight.  I fall in love with her more each day and I add reasons to the explanation of why I love her each day.  I know people say this all the time, but it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

1. For some reason, people care how you choose to take care of your baby.  That doesn’t mean you have to care that they care or let them influence your decisions.  The mommy wars are real…it’s ridiculous and can be hurtful and bewildering.  I will never understand why it matters to other people how I choose to feed, dress, interact with or just take care of my child, as long as she is safe and loved.  I want all children to be safe, to have what they need, and most of all to be loved.  Other than that, figure out how things work for you.  As Amy Poehler said, “good for you, not for me.”  Figure out what’s good for you and disregard whether it was what is good for me.


Boom, there you have it; nine of the things I’ve learned in nine months. 



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