Girl Players

When we moved to Durham, we knew that we were ready to be back in a city.  We love the people, the opportunities the amenities that are available.   In this particular city, that includes sports, especially college sports.  In the past month, we’ve been to a North Carolina men’s basketball game (where they should have lost to Wake, but of course, Wake choked at the end) at the Dean Dome and a Duke women’s basketball game at Cameron Indoor.  Before you begin berating me for my college basketball allegiance, let me remind you that Duke currently pays the bills and let me re-assert my lifelong belief of anybody but Carolina.  Being an “ABC” fan isn’t exactly relevant to this story, but I do love reminding everyone of that stance, especially since I currently work in the literal heart of Tarheel country.

Last week, Adam and I took Amelia with us to the Duke women’s basketball game versus Virginia.  The Blue Devils ended up winning and it was a better crowd than either of us expected.  Amelia was beyond excited to spend time with both of us, without Eleanor (thanks, Nana!).  As a basketball fan, I was eager to see a game at Cameron Indoor Stadium.  I looked at the trophies, the banners, the plaques and even walked on the court. Amelia was a good sport and let me take her picture all over the place.  We had seats right behind the scorers’ table on the players’ bench side.  We saw cheerleaders, the Blue Devil, people holding fast to the “let’s go Duke” chant, and were spotted on TV by my brother.  

About five minutes after we settled into our seats, Amelia asked to put her white sweater back on over her Duke blue t-shirt.  She finally articulated that she wanted the girl players to see that she had on blue and white, just like their uniforms.  She learned to say “whoosh” with each free throw and waved as hard as she could each time the Blue Devil mascot took the floor.  Amelia actually watched most of the game.  This was not her first basketball game; she’s actually been to basketball games at three different college courts and has enjoyed all of them (with the help of popcorn at times). 

At the end of the game, Adam asked Amelia about her favorite part.  She immediately answered that “the girl players” were her favorite.  We took Amelia to the game because we love basketball and thought it would be fun to spend some time with just her, not because it was a women’s game.  However, that was an added bonus and one that we should more consciously seek out.  We do intentionally try to expose Amelia to women in all different roles in life, including sports.  On this day, I was starkly reminded, “You can’t be what you can’t see.”

Amelia may never be a college basketball player.  If I’m being honest, I think our athletic aspirations most likely will not be lived out vicariously through our firstborn, unless something changes.  She has many strengths, but I’m not convinced that basketball will be one of them.  That, however, is not the point.  In order to ensure that Amelia knows, truly knows, that she can be or do anything in this world, it is up to us to plant that seed.  We are obligated as her parents to give her as many experiences as we can in order to foster the idea that she is not limited simply because she is a girl.  We, as parents or teachers or aunts or uncles or cousins or friends or acquaintances, of boys or girls, have to consciously choose to teach equality, across all realms.  Our children are taught their prejudices, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously.  Whether or not we are intentional in that teaching, it’s on us.