The Length of High School, One Presidential Term, and the Time Between the Olympics

Today is our 4^th anniversary.  Happy anniversary to us!  We had our nice celebration last night during which we had the most leisurely dinner we’ve had in over a year.  We didn’t have to share any portion of our meal, or pick things up off the floor, or go into all out distract/entertain mode, or only devote a third of our attention to our own meals.  The tablecloths, dim lighting and lack of a kids’ menu were, for one meal, not a source of concern. In short, it was amazing.  I love Amelia more than I can even articulate, but that definitely doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy time apart.

Tonight, we had a different kind of celebration.  We had Coke in a bottle and some macaroni and cheese as homage to our lovely wedding reception four years ago where both of those things had their turns in the spotlight.   We have a lot going on right now (expect at least one more blog post in the next couple of days to touch on all of the news – I know you’ll all be on the edge of your seats), so this was the perfect celebration for us.  We have big plans to buy a blueberry bush to plan in order to fulfill the “theme” of the 4^th anniversary, fruit/flowers. 

Last night, as we ate our meals instead of inhaling them, we did reminisce about the last four years.  Four years is a significant amount of time.  It’s as long as high school, as long as college, as long as a single Presidential term, and the length of time between the Olympics.  This year, we felt the time.  An amazing amount of life changes have taken place this year.  We became parents before our 3^rd anniversary, but having a 13 month old brings a lot more experience, lessons learned, triumphs, vulnerabilities and just maybe, dare I claim it, possibly even wisdom, than having a 1 month old did at this time last year.  We both started new jobs in the past year and endured a major move.  Big things. 

Big changes always play tricks with the passage of time.  Those changes are how we mark time.  Life before Amelia, life before Boone, life before the wedding, life before Scout, etc, etc, etc. 

This conversation brought about the realization that we are so “grown-up.”  You may roll your eyes or even chuckle at our realization, being that we are respectively 33 and 31 years old and our marriage is still young by many standards.  Being an adult is undeniable at this point, I know, no matter what we may cling to from our previous selves.  I’m sticking to the idea voiced by a commercial recently; I’m embracing my inner “kid-ult,” even though the realities of life demand being responsible.  Believe it or not, the two things are not mutually exclusive.

All this aside, we made it through another year.  In fact, not only did we make it, we made it with smiles on our faces, as partners, best friends, shoulders to cry on, hands to hold, and laughter.  As far as I’m concerned, that’s a win. It’s a cause for celebration!  This milestone is marriage rejuvenation.  Anniversaries are just as much a celebration of a living love as a wedding. 

So, happy four years!  I hope your coming year is full of laughter, friendship, support, tears and smiles, along with fruits and flowers.  Happy our anniversary to all of you!

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food." - George Bernard Shaw

Thanks for sticking around through all of the Amelia based topics on this blog.  Today’s is no different.  Right now, Amelia is dominating the blog.  I don’t know whether to say “you’re welcome” or to apologize.  This particular entry is one that I have been thinking about a good bit over the course of Amelia’s life.

When you have a baby, you expect to be able to meet all of their needs with no trouble.  There is more than you could possibly want to read about breastfeeding versus formula feeding out there in the world.  So, I’m not going to rant about that, except to say that often, it is a much more complicated decision than it seems.  That decision started this train of thought.  The bottom line is that there is a significant difference between eating and eating well.

Amelia is in the process of learning to eat table food without the safety net of formula feedings throughout the day.  She is moving towards drinking milk instead and is learning to use a cup rather than her beloved bottle.  We’re not in a hurry, but it’s time.  Amelia is learning what she likes, what she doesn’t like and is mostly being a good sport about eating enough and eating variety. 

Earlier in her life, it was a different story.  She has always been healthy and never had nearly as much trouble as so many other babies out there face.  However, eating was not always comforting or easy for her.  It’s not my intent here to go into all of those details, but just to say that Amelia is learning how to eat well.  She’s learning to enjoy eating. 

Eating, while obviously a part of every person’s daily life, is a subject of incredible controversy.  We berate each other and ourselves over our decisions of how to feed our children.  We have few healthy, cheap options in our society and at the same time, we participate in “fat-shaming.”  On top of all of that, people are going hungry all over the world.   

I don’t have the answers.  I don’t know how to stop world hunger or how to fix childhood obesity or type 2 diabetes or even bullying; but I do know that I can teach Amelia how to enjoy eating.  I can teach her that her worth is not related to her weight.  I can teach her how to be healthy. I can do what I can to help eradicate hunger and in so doing, teach Amelia that if those who have more than enough would share a little, there would be enough for all.

From the Inside Out

In case you haven't heard, there's a new Disney Pixar movie in theaters now, Inside Out. It's a unique examination of an 11 year old's emotional development. Among all of the jokes, visual appeal, and story telling, there were some great lessons that I could learn from this movie.

Katy and I purchased tickets, and settled in with our soda and popcorn; mine with the appropriate amount of butter - you know, the amount where you need some napkins to hold the bag in order to avoid having the butter seep through the bag onto your pants. I love movie popcorn!

Anyways - on to the movie.

In a nutshell, the movie centers around an 11 year old girl, Riley, and the effects that her emotions (Joy, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, and Fear) have on her everyday life. Riley's emotions affected her relationships, her hockey, her laughter, her desires, her decisions, and her memories.  The most important role her emotions play is in developing memories, but primarily core memories. Riley's core memories formed the framework for her personality. There's friendship island, hockey island, honesty island, goofball island, and family island.

The primary emotion that young Riley feels and drives her is Joy. So much so, that it is almost exhausting, even to watch. As a newborn, Joy was the first emotion she felt and experienced. Joy played a prominent role by instructing the other emotions how to use to control panel to engineer joy in Riley's life. Her world is thrown into a tailspin when her parents decide to move from Minnesota to San Francisco.  Sadness begins to exert a greater influence in her emotional development, and she has to learn how to deal with it. She begins to lose her sense of self. Her core memories begin to change. The islands of her personality begin to crumble. Riley decides to run away. Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Disgust must work together to enable Riley to make the decision to return home.

Emotions are powerful things that drive us, and we must learn how to harness them to make good decisions. Memories are even more powerful things, but they are not developed from the source of one single emotion. Riley's memories, and ours, are a complicated mix of emotions. They may change over time. Memories may have started as joyful or sad, but in a broader context may have been the result of a more complex story. There are times where sadness, anger, disgust, or fear are appropriate emotions, and I'll have to deal with those times. Also, I'll have to try to teach Amelia how to deal with her emotions, and become a person of good character.

But for now...I'll hold this core memory of joy.

The More That You Read...

“The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

-Dr. Seuss

As I opened the car door, Amelia reached to be unbuckled and taken out of her car seat.  As I unfastened her seat belt, she cheerfully repeated an approximation of “up” and grinned.  For Amelia, it’s always about the destination.  She puts up with her rides in a car seat as her vehicle to wherever we’re going.  Eventually, we’ll work toward loving the journey; but for now, I’m more than happy with loving the destination. 

On this particular day, we were taking a trip to one of my favorite places; a library.  Anywhere with books is ok as far as I’m concerned.  Right now, almost-thirteen-month-old Amelia agrees with me.  Like me, Amelia loves books and I cannot even express how much I love that.  It may not always be the case, but for now, books rank right up there for her with Mickey Mouse, trucks, Little People, babies and animals (which are all apparently dogs at this point).

We walked into the library and looked around.  Amelia doesn’t miss much and was busy from the moment we entered, taking it all in and trying to explore every inch that she was given.  First, we said hello to Big Bird, of course, as one does.  Next, we discovered the train table and to my chagrin, what some of the train cars taste like.  After that adventure, we hit the jackpot. 

Amelia rounded the corner past one of the shelves filled with children’s books.  She glimpsed the board books and made a beeline for them; however, this time, something even more exciting pulled her off course.  From her vantage point on the way to the board books, she was able to see the steps and mini-amphitheater that hosts story-time.  At the time, there were a handful of babies gathering with their respective parents/grandparents/babysitters/other adult friends.  Amelia loves people and especially other kids.  She immediately changed course and gladly joined the group.  It was time for “Baby Lap Time” a.k.a. Amelia’s mecca. 

The librarian who led our first foray into Baby Lap Time could not have picked anything more interesting to Amelia.  The group followed the librarian’s lead as she sang songs, did motions and read a couple of books.  Amelia was enthralled.  The only times she took her eyes off of the librarian were to watch the other children participate.  She clapped, danced and babbled on and on.  Between “The Wheels on the Bus,” blowing bubbles, and reading a book about zoo animals, thirty minutes passed more quickly than I could have expected.

As perfectly as Amelia fit into Baby Lap Time, story time was another animal altogether.  Story Time for the big kids involved sitting and listening to books that didn’t have as many motions and included a group of kids who were old enough to know not to shout/babble during the story.  So, we called it a day.  I understand that Amelia’s performance was age appropriate and probably boringly predictable to any adult other than me.  But for me, and for Amelia, it was huge.  She’s growing up and getting to an age where we can do things together.  We can share interests and I can help to foster her personality and experiences however I can.  It was another first for Amelia and for me as a parent. 

In this case, the first won’t be the only.  We’ll go back to Baby Lap Time.  Soon, it will lose it’s magic; it’ll be something she continues to enjoy, but won’t seem as charmed.  Just like her other firsts.  We don’t clap every time she waves anymore; we don’t cheer when she stands; we aren’t astounded when she says one of her words.  And somehow, that’s a good thing.  She’s growing up and I’m so fortunate to be a witness to it.  I am so thankful that milestones are being mastered and accomplishments eventually become commonplace. 

“Many people, myself included, feel better at the mere sight of a book.”

-Jane Smiley

It's All Rainbows, Butterflies and Leslie Knope

Last summer was the first summer of adulthood that I haven’t had a summer job.  However, last summer I had a newborn at the beginning of summer and had the job of figuring out how to handle all of that.  So, this summer is now officially my first summer of adulthood without a summer job.  To be honest, almost two weeks in, I’ve missed my summer jobs.  I always did things that were completely different and separate from my actual job.  It was rejuvenating.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m truly and sincerely enjoying time at home with Amelia. 

We have gone to play at the playground, on walks, discovered the joys of bubbles, just played and even attended “Baby Lap Time” at the public library where Amelia claps, waves and bounces as much as her little heart desires.  She loves a crowd; I’ll give her that.  We’re also using the summer to slowly get used to her new daycare, which will hopefully ease the transition.  All happy things! 

For a little while each day, Amelia naps (or at least that’s the hope).  During that time, I scramble to get things done around the house, take care of Scout and I have also started a few projects that will most definitely be the subject of future blog posts.  I hope you can handle the anticipation since I’m glossing over it for now.

Sometimes, since I can’t leave the house while Amelia’s asleep, there are a few rare and glorious moments when I use the time to read or watch TV or done something else that is mindless, relaxing or even fun.  This summer, as nearly always, Netflix and I are best friends (don’t tell my DVR or HGTV or Friends reruns or my books).  I am currently watching “Parks and Rec.” I didn’t get into this show while it was actually on, but I am loving watching it this summer.  I have to say that I do love Chris Pratt and he was more than a little of the draw for me to start watching.  He is hilariously lovable on the show, but he isn’t what truly stands out to me in the show.   For the ultimate standout, I have to look to Leslie Knope.  Amy Poehler’s character, Leslie, is driven, optimistic, well meaning, and generally a good person.  There aren’t many of those on TV right now.  Leslie loves her job and works hard to improve the lives of those around her.  She remembers her friends’ birthdays, plans parties, gives compliments, puts her friends above her job and just loves her life.   She does it all with the backdrop of a goofy cast of characters, a town known for obesity and a theme song that makes Amelia drop everything and dance.

Leslie Knope reminds me how to be optimistic about everyday life.  I understand how hyperbolic that sounds, but I have watched a lot of Parks and Rec in the last couple weeks.  I still have a couple seasons to go, so don’t spoil things for me, if in the last two seasons, I’m going to be forced to lose my faith in the town of Pawnee.  I don’t know about you, but I need that humor.  I need that optimism, that drive, that buoyancy, that cheer.  I know I’ve said it before and I’ll most definitely say it again, but little things matter.  If Leslie can get this excited about the world’s smallest part, or Lil’ Sebastian or a city council campaign or Jerry’s birthday party, then so can I.