The Oscars serve as a yearly reminder to me. Not because I love to celebrate and watch the Oscars, but because it reminds me of a defining moment in my life.
7 years ago, I was millimeters away from being paralyzed. I don't know what my life would've looked like had that happened. I am happy to know what it looks like now.
I made the terrible decision to embark on a night of drinking that would lead to drunk driving and a nearly fatal car accident. The memories which pierce the haze of that night are still with me today. Scars remind me everyday of the brilliant doctors who had a part in enabling me to be who and where I am today.
A few weeks ago, my Sunday School teacher asked, "Are there any failures in your life that you celebrate?" I gave a hearty chortle, and proceeded to talk about my car accident for the umteenth time in that group.
I've pondered that question several times since it was asked. I have the same answer every time that I think about it. Yes, I do celebrate this. Yes, I do think that it's a failure. Yes, I am thankful for it. Yes, it molded me. Yes, I think about it often, usually daily. It brings a myriad of emotions to mind, but I think that mostly I am thankful for it.
Recently, I've thought about the wreck in this vein of thought. What will I tell my daughter about the biggest failure in my life?
First, I will share my failures with her. I want her to know my failures and successes. I don't want her to know some whitewashed version of my life. I am who I am today, because of the successes and failures. Also, I will remind her that even daddy makes mistakes, and will be quick to apologize and try to live without ego.
Second, I will share the importance of decision making and that choices have consequences. It's easy to make choices, but it's difficult to make the right choice all of the time. I made bad choices in many areas of my life at the time, and I will make some bad choices throughout life. However, I have and will continue to learn from them with the hopes of not making the same mistakes.
Third, I will share in her failures and be with her on her life journey. She will know that I am always available to her.
Finally, I will share with her the love that I experienced from family and friends in a great time of need. She will never go a day without it.
These are some of the things that the wreck has taught me this past year. I hope that you know that you are loved and are not alone.
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