Monday, January 27, 2014

It's a...

This is the story of the most recent way that our lives were changed, once again...

This past week, believe it or not, we reached the halfway point in this pregnancy.  In some ways, pregnancy seems to be chock full of decisions, more than it is consistently full of anything else.  Sure, pregnancy is also characterized by many other, somewhat less pleasant, symptoms, but right now at this particular moment, the decisions seem to be in considerable abundance, with no end in sight.  Our most recent success regarding this growing list of decisions happened this past Tuesday.

Over the past several months, we have been conflicted over whether or not to find out our baby's gender.  No one believes me when I say this, but it is honestly the truth; we had absolutely no preference as far as the baby's gender goes.  That's why it made it so difficult to decide.  The time to act on that decision came at our latest appointment, on Tuesday.  Because it was the appointment that included our 20 week ultrasound, Adam and I both had to take a little time off of work in the afternoon.  That way, we were able to leave for the appointment together.  Upon our arrival, we realized that we had the last appointments of the day with both our ultrasound tech and our doctor, so we had some time in the waiting room.  As always, we were given insights into our future while we waited; there were other families, of all shapes and sizes, including those farther along in their pregnancies and those who already have small children in tow.  Even in spite of the sense of anticipation that hangs over all waiting rooms, it's always interesting, and mostly entertaining, to watch the others waiting.  This particular day, my fellow waiting room occupants didn't disappoint.  Through their seemingly mundane and unremarkable strategies to get through their own time waiting, they unknowingly helped to calm my nerves and pass the time.  While I can't honestly say that the time flew, we did get through the time we were asked to wait and my name was called.

We followed the ultrasound tech back to the last room on the left and followed suit as she introduced herself.  Immediately following the introductions, I blurted out that we would like for her to write down the gender of the baby instead of telling us during the appointment.  She willingly complied and played along throughout the appointment, having us turn our heads away from the screen whenever there was even a slight possibility that our surprise might be spoiled.

I hate to shatter the illusion, but pregnancy so far has not exactly matched up with what is shown in the movies.  I'm not sure I glow, have avoided gaining weight in areas other than my lower abdomen, or have been as ladylike about the symptoms as the women that so angelically depict pregnancy on the big screen.  However, overall, the experience of the ultrasound actually did seem to be like it is in the movies.  The gel, the black and white screen, and the semi-dark room were all exactly what I anticipated.  I did not anticipate how emotional it would be that the black and white pictures were of our baby.  Immediately, there it was; moving around, healthy (as far as they can tell).  Yes, we had seen the baby at our very first appointment on an ultrasound, but at that point, it resembled more of a bean of some sort than a baby.  This time, undeniably, it is a baby.  The ultrasound tech spent at least thirty minutes taking different measurements, looking at different angles, and throughout the entire time, she narrated what she was seeing.  We took a tour around our baby; we saw feet, arms, hands, a face, a beating heart, kidneys, the lenses of the eyes, and the parts of the brain.  Unbelievable!  It's hard to even describe the amazement and excitement each time we were introduced to a new angle or discovered something new.  Adam continually commented on the craziness of it all, while he oohed and ahhed at all of the new views. We were both amazed at how much had happened in the 12 weeks since the baby was about the size of a kidney bean.

There were a few moments during which the ultrasound tech was forced to take a different approach in order to be able to see certain things.  The conclusion was reached that baby is doing very well and there is nothing at all to worry about at this point!

I know everyone says this, but the baby was being adorable.  The hands were consistently moving, at times crossed in front of the face and waving at us or blocking our ability to see the face.  The legs crossed and uncrossed.  It was hard not to imagine a personality to go hand in hand with these images.  As the ultrasound continued, we realized just how difficult it would be to have seen all of this and not open that enticing envelope containing the gender.  We were overwhelmed by the desire to learn as much as we could about this new little person, our child.

As the ultrasound appointment drew to a close, we were given a printed picture, a CD containing several pictures as well as a video of the baby's heart, and the sealed envelope containing the gender.  We walked out to the next waiting room, arguing good-naturedly about who would hold our ultrasound souvenirs.  We waited as the waiting room around us slowly emptied.  We closed down the doctor's office that day.  Both of us tried to read as we waited and both of us were constantly drawn back to staring at our baby's new picture.  Our hearts had already been melted from the beginning, but this was a new level of love.  One that brought us even closer to the level of love that we can't even foresee before the birth of our child.

Eventually, we were startled out of our reverie and called back to see the doctor.  That particular day, the doctor that I usually see had a family emergency and so, we saw a different doctor.  This was originally a source of anxiety for me, but that anxiety was unfounded.  The doctor was extremely helpful, patient with our questions, and just as friendly as my regular doctor.  In the end, seeing someone different was a good idea, just in case someone else in the medical group ends up being there at the actual birth.  This doctor's visit was comfortably ordinary, as far as the last few months go, with the exception of the ultrasound.  The doctor did go over the radiologist's report which was also thankfully, mostly uneventful.  After the doctor finished, we left the office.

It was extremely cold outside that day (one of the cold days this winter, as opposed to the whiplash giving warm days interspersed between polar vortexes).  As has become our tradition, we sat in the car in the parking lot of the doctor's office and called both sets of our parents to share the news that things are going well and baby seems to be healthy.  Then, we shared our plan to find out the gender.  Yep, we had a plan.  It did not involve waiting much longer to open that sealed envelope.

Our next stop was Maggiano's.  We walked in and requested a booth.  With giant smiles plastered on our faces, we blurted out to the waitress our plan; open the envelope at dinner and celebrate!  We tried our best, but the longest we could wait was immediately after we ordered dinner.  With one last look at the ultrasound picture and one more reassurance to each other that we honestly had no idea whether it was a boy or girl, we brought out the envelope.  Adam opened the envelope and I pulled out the piece of paper.  The ultrasound tech had folder the paper into fourths, so there was absolutely no way we could see the gender through the envelope.  So, I had to unfold the paper.  As the tension built, my heart pounded, and Adam was nearly giddy.  I opened the paper to find one word written in all capital letters: GIRL.  She is a girl!  We were and continue to be ecstatic!  We smiled and laughed and celebrated in the booth.  Our waitress brought us a card signed by many of the Maggiano's employees that said, "Congratulations on your baby girl!" and a dessert after our meal with pink candles.  Adam told most of the people around us about our news and as we were leaving the restaurant, he turned around to shout, "we're having a little girl!"

We decided to keep our news to ourselves for a few more minutes and instead of calling our families immediately, we went shopping!  We bought an adorable outfit for our little girl and a stuffed elephant.  On our way home, we called Adam's parents and brother.  Then, when we got back to the apartment, we Facetimed with my parents and then, my brother.

It's amazing what a difference, what a life changing experience, it was to see the ultrasound and find out that she is a girl.  I have no regrets about how we decided to experience that.  I'm thankful that we opened our envelope on our terms and celebrated!  I'm overwhelmingly grateful that the baby seems to be healthy.  I am thrilled to have seen her and to have learned more about her.  It's indescribable what it means to be to be able to use "she" or "her" instead of "it," what it means to have a sneak peek into what we are anticipating.  We are going to have a daughter.  We don't know what she'll look like, her fears, her likes, her dislikes, her passions, her pet peeves, her aspirations, her dreams, her strengths, or her weaknesses, but we have had our first real glimpse. We could not be more excited to experience life with her.  We're having a baby girl!


Sunday, January 19, 2014

Tackling Youth Football in America

This weekend, I engaged in a emergent, cultural phenomenon (thanks to Netflix, Video OnDemand, and the internet) accurately described as "binge watching".  Recently, I've binge-watched The Tudors, Arrested Development, Modern Family and Breaking Bad.  However, my stomach turned, brain churned, and heart broke as I watched the train wreck that is Friday Night Tykes (FNT).

Although the Esquire Network tries to convince viewers that FNT is a "docuseries", I'm pretty sure that it's a reality show.  It follows the coaches, players, and some families of 5 teams of 9 year olds...the Outlaws, Jr. Broncos, Colts, Rockets and the Predators (my personal favorite)...in the Texas Youth Football Association in San Antonio

Ask Katy.  For whatever reason, I couldn't change the channel.  Maybe it was the drama, or the football-crazed coaches, or the desire for the children to walk away from the practices, or how badly I wanted some coaches to lose.  No matter the reason, I couldn't turn away or change the channel, which fed directly into the Esquire Network's wish for ratings.  However, I did take away a few things:

  1. The majority of the coaches featured in the series want to win above all else.  They may say that they care about the health of their players and want them to have fun, but their actions are contradictory.
  2. My favorite person in the show is....J Boogie.  He spent the offseason with his aunt in Indianapolis, spending most of his time at the swimming pool.  My heart ached for him as he left his first practice of the season crying, because his coach made him run the entire practice.  Later the coach admitted that he didn't watch him run or know how much he ran.
  3. There was no demonstration of proper tackling techniques.  Coaches encouraged their players to hit the other players hard, and to quit crying when they were hurt.  At one point a boy most likely suffered a concussion on a tackle in practice, and the solution was to pour water on his head.
  4. It is not ok to curse at children.
  5. These are children.
  6. "Emotions are a female trait."  Seriously?!?!?!
  7. People are crazy.  The coach of one team cried after a week 1 loss, because it was the most important day of his life....this guy has a family!
  8. Youth football has a perception problem.
I realize that this is a small snapshot of what is happening throughout America in youth football leagues, and is most likely not happening on every practice field and game.  However this is part of the perception of football in America.


As a lifelong baseball fan, the current situation in which football in America finds itself is eerily similar to the fanaticism that surrounded the MLB's rise in popularity in the 90's.  Baseball's participation crisis is the result of steroid-fueled home run records.  Football's participations crisis is a result of the number of and science behind concussions, naturally present in the game...along with a myriad of other head and neck injuries.

Major League Baseball is still wading through the aftermath of the steroid era's bloated records and muscle bound hysteria crash, resulting in the RBI program and other outreach efforts.  The long-term effects of the "concussion" era of football may be similar to the effects on its players' bodies and minds, not truly felt until much later, but for now there's the Heads Up program.

I am an avid sports fan, football included.  I root for the Vols and Titans with as much passion as anyone.  Yes, in higher levels, if we are going to continue to embrace football, we need to concentrate on teaching the correct ways to tackle, helpful tips to avoid injury, and accept the idea that injuries can and will continue to happen, even with new precautionary measures and marketing campaigns.  However, the hesitations outlined here are in relation to young children, who are still growing, developing, and are not as capable of safely participating in an activity like full contact football and with full knowledge of the cumulative effects on their bodies.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Blog of a Blog

This weekend my friend, Andrew, let me contribute to his blog about youth ministry.  I answered the question "Why Should the Church Invest in Youth?"  So, I thought that perhaps all of you, my newly faithful readers, would like to be included...below you'll find my contribution and then, a link to what promises to be an interesting forum about youth ministry for those of you so inclined.

Why Should the Church Invest in Youth?
            All too often, it can feel as if the church overlooks a lack of investment in youth.  We tell them to enjoy this time with few responsibilities, while simultaneously saying to prepare for life as an adult.  I agree with that advice, but I do maintain that it is a disservice to our youth; to foster a belief that what they do today doesn’t matter.  Being a teenager should not be a get out of jail free card.  Youth do matter today, not only because of what they will become, but because of who they are today.  To me, this is the foundation of why the church should, and must, invest in youth.
            No matter how long ago it was, we can all look back on our years as a youth, probably with at least some amount of nostalgia.  As teenagers, we struggled both within ourselves and with those around us, for what we deemed to be freedoms, our beliefs, our friends, and most of all, to define ourselves.  During those tumultuous years, we developed the core of our being.  The foundation was laid during childhood; as youth we began to make our own decisions.   A great deal of soul searching can be done within the church, as long as there are people willing to invest in youth, to be there for them, help them struggle with doubts and questions, and encourage their spiritual development.  Without that investment, we are missing out on being a part of the process of growing up, which is imperative within the church family, as in any family.  Youth are not more important than any other ministry in the church, but it is crucial that they be just as important.

            As today’s youth are growing up, they are developing passions and looking for a way to make tangible differences in their world.  Yes, we, as believers, are called to encourage the relationship between our youth and their Lord; just as Jesus tells Peter in John 21:15-19.  However, it doesn’t end there.  We are also called to foster their ability to become disciples, not just believers.  Youth are a part of the church of today, not just the church of tomorrow.  Youth are making a difference in our churches, our communities, and our world right now.  When we, as a church, invest in our youth and set high expectations for them, they will meet or exceed them.  I have seen it.  As Paul so eloquently puts it in his first letter to Timothy, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity,” (1 Timothy 4:12, NIV).  The church is called to invest in our youth.  So, invest in their ability to be what they are called to be.





Sunday, January 5, 2014

Take A Hike

Yesterday, +Katy King and I took our first hike of 2014.

After a delicious breakfast at the new Bojangles in Hendersonville (It's Bo Time!), which I'm so pumped about and will probably blog about later, we ventured out to Bledsoe Creek State Park in Gallatin.  Yes...Gallatin has a state park, and it's great!  The park was home to various Native American tribes and an abundance of wildlife.  It's also one of the few parks in the middle Tennessee area that allows dogs on trails.  So, obviously, we love it, because we can take Scout.

We arrived at the park and were welcomed by several deer that were sunbathing as we parked.  We've been to Bledsoe Creek several times, and this was our first encounter with any wildlife, which we took as a good omen.  If you squint, you may just be able to make out one of the deer....or "wildlifes" or a "wildlife" as we may, or may not refer to random wildlife.  For instance, "Hey! Katy, there's a wildlife!"  So...here's a wildlife.


We began our hike along the Shoreline Trail.  This trail is the main reason that we enjoy hiking at Bledsoe Creek, because it takes you along Old Hickory Lake's shore.  The weather had been so cold, recently, that a layer of ice had formed on most of the water near the shore.  Sometimes, Katy and I can't help indulging our inner child.  We quickly searched some rocks and sticks to see what, if anything, would break the ice.  No suitable rocks were found.  The first of several pieces of wood merely skidded along the ice.  I could only imagine Snoopy skating perfect figure 8's along the ice pulling Katy and myself behind him.  We picked up some hulking pieces of wood, tossed them high into the air, and they crashed through the ice.  Our curiosity had been satisfied, and we continued our hike.  We kept walking through the woods for another 15 minutes or so, and found a bench to sit on, while looking out on the water.  Scout was very curious about the bank of the water.  We were interested in keeping our over zealous, super hiker dog out of the frigid lake, but it made for a good photo:

We pulled Scout away from the water's edge, and began the return hike to the car.  It's these moments that I love hiking with Katy and Scout.  We talk about life, God, nature, and laugh at Scout rummaging through the random matter on the forest floor.  On this particular hike, we talked about baby names (we've made some progress on this front...no spoilers though), cribs, strollers, whether or not we should learn the gender in a few weeks, and other baby stuff.  We have a lot of decisions to make, and much to anticipate in the coming months, but together we will journey onward playing, talking and holding hands or paws.

So....here's some encouragement:
Get outside, breathe some fresh air, revel in the splendor of God's nature, and be refreshed!


"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and
give strength to body and soul."
- John Muir

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Opening Thoughts


Happy 2014 everyone!

So....this is our blog, obviously.  Congratulations for reading our first blog post, but you're probably not quite as excited as Adam looks in this picture.  He probably just ate Christmas cookies while watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation which, to be honest, may actually be just as exciting as he is making it look.

We hope that you come back to read our musings regularly.  If you know us, you know that we have a wide range of interests and a lot happening in our lives right now.  If you don't know us, fair warning.  So, when you come back (like we know you will) you can expect a veritable cornucopia of wonderments that are nearly, almost...well...Virtually Deep Thoughts. Oh come on, embrace the cheesiness.